Ever wonder what your life will turn out to be? How it will end? Will it be just an extension of your present or something larger or even smaller?

The moments I hate most are the ones as you try to sleep and you take so long to drift away. I start thinking about my days and mostly all the negative things that had happened even when something good happens I thank god for it and then I wonder why it had happened to me what did I do to deserve it!!! Then I start thinking about my present and future hoping I had a crystal ball to tell me my future should I be worried or relieved.

This is a never ending cycle where you end at the very exact point where you started. You just bring yourself agony over nothing. What did you achieve … nothing.

They say setting up goals for yourself helps you shape out the life for yourself. Well that doesn’t seem to work for me because as soon as I achieve it, it gives me momentary happiness and then nothing. I am starting to fear following my current goals dreading the moment when i may realize that i had took the wrong path and it is too late, too painful, too exhausting to take a new one. I haven’t yet discovered my passion or as they say my calling.

Maybe I am dreaming too big, thinking too hard or am I just a girl giving too many excuses to justify her so called meaningless life.