When is it the time to quit? You did your best and tried over and over again and now it’s the time to give up.

We always hear stories about people who made it from rags to riches, successfully achieved their goals, beat the odds, conquered the impossible, met the unexpected in the last crucial minutes … what happened to the rest … ones who decided to quit because no matter how many times they tried they always fail and if by some miracle they could have seen into the future they would have seen themselves fail over and over again …

Most movies are made about successful happy ending, just believe in yourself, be honest, never give up, study hard and eventually you’ll get there … we are in the real world now, out of the fiction novels and motion pictures and into the harsh realities of the society where connections matter, diplomacy, hypocrisy, looks, family name, the superficial stuff that we were taught that’ll get us nowhere is getting others a lot ahead of you.

A goal you set for yourself, you’d think you’ll have to fight the outside world for it or at least prove that you are qualified. But you have to start first right at your household and once you get passed that then alone you go out there.

You failed … never mind … try again … how many times do I have to try before calling it quits … instinctively others will tell you not to quit and keep going, I mean no one has to hesitate before saying that, it’s like programmed in the genes …

It’s like running up a descending escalator, you huff and puff and you think you’re working hard to reach to the top and if you reach it, you’ll find others who took the opposite escalator and reached the same spot effortlessly … should I feel better about myself, NO, I can only allow myself to feel dumb and stupid …

If I ever want anything, is to be satisfied to transfer to some government sector, where I can supposedly “work” on a desk for three hours a day three times a week and get a better salary and guaranteed promotion … to wait and bear the next 20 something years till retirement … and to cash in … to try and milk out as much money as possible from my current situation, because that seems to be the answer to happiness, and not lift a finger or work my brain, the typical model citizen and live free of guilt and soundly sleep at night.

I am my worst enemy, that is what I am realizing lately, I don’t have to prove myself to others, I stopped that a long time ago, I have to prove myself to ME …

This week is going to be one HELL of a week, but the most annoying thing is that even if the outer me would like to take a moment to break down and give up the inner ME won’t allow it, so I wrote it out and preparing for bed.

Tomorrow is a new day, a new week … and I am ready …