When a person close to you is getting married or just got married, you can’t help but think about it. Even if you don’t, people around you will do it for you … hold your hand and give you a gentle squeeze and the stare ‘elfal lij’ and if you don’t say ‘insha’Allah’ … ohhh that’s another thing ‘ليش اشفيها ما تبي تتزوج!!!’ and if you do say ‘insha’Allah’ … ‘بسم الله ما تقول لأ’

Anyway, when I think about how people get married here, I would safely say most of them get married the traditional way, yeah some have a relationship before getting married but rarely end up together and if they do, well the outcome isn’t promising at all.

The traditional way, through family or friends, the guy comes with some of his female relatives to see and be seen basically you have minutes to decide if this is the person you want to be with !!! What would you say to the other person … would you sit silently … or you would talk and express yourself and if so about what … most will put on this angelic façade or hold back their true selves … In my opinion, as I was discussing with my sis, is to mention all my flaws, wAllah, think about it, nobody will be disappointed if you have the common good qualities but they cringe over the supposedly bad ones .. So imagine me speaking, look here ‘aham shay’ … I’m stubborn, a bit crazy sometimes, can’t tolerate stupidity, , can’t stand ‘malaqa’, sometimes I can be a control freak, feminist … whooooosh .. that’ll be the guy running out the door, that’s my sis opinion

One of my relatives didn’t like a girl because she answered his questions … a bit to forward for his taste … WTH … so you wanted her to keep silent and play a retard while you fired away your questions, why did you start asking in the first place ???

I hear people say ‘شبح العنوسة’ … first of all what a catchy phrase … I believe the whole women afraid of not being married began because they couldn’t support themselves or defend themselves, so they needed men to do that for them and once a upon a time, men stopped doing that, so women took matters into their own hands but still didn’t quite figure out the whole need-to-be-married sham yet

The thing is not only men are afraid of commitment, women are too, especially if they support themselves and are living a steady life … why would they risk it all … for what, a few months of happiness and then a life of living hell and disaster … that is what I see mostly around me … the older the woman gets, the more she cherishes her independence … No matter how old you are, responsible, mature, most men here like to think that they need to put a leash on you or you’ll run loose!!! I can’t say for sure that I won’t make a hasty marriage decision like so many did around me when reaching a certain age, but in my current situation I won’t.

A lot of things come along with marriage, responsibility, sharing, experiencing motherhood, being a partner and a lover …

Marriage is a sacred union, which I have nothing against, it is just that how people portray these days make you want to run the other way real fast … and the funny thing is, people who want you to get married are the ones who are having a sorry excuse of marriage and are cursing the day they decided to get married!!!

why should I? … ‘شر لابد منه’ … comes back their response ;P

I know there are excellent examples of how a marriage should be and how wonderful it can be, but they are in the hiding … out fronted by the misreable couples … so the latter should hang out together and leave us alone and happy couples find single ones and hang out with them and talk about how you make it work

OK now I need to get my single butt outside and have breakfast

I couldn’t help but admire this guy, Michael DeBakey, he’s a 99 year old heart surgeon. It’s an article on MSN ‘What I’ve Learned‘. I always imagine that the final judgement about one’s life, is what they learnt, because one can change their minds throughout life, perspectives and beliefs, but after a certain age that becomes less and less until you finalize a conclusion. Mine is in my 70′s, if I lived that long ;D

Also, check out ‘Albert Einstein‘ and the funny one about ‘Jack Baeur‘

One of the rarest things that we do is think. I don’t know why people don’t do it more often. It doesn’t cost anything. Think about that.

There are questions that I’d like answered. But there aren’t any answers to those questions.

If world leaders were doctors, I think they would be more concerned with the welfare of people. There would be less poverty. There would be medical care for everybody, no matter whether people paid for it or not.

In any good society, every member should be interested in the health of every other member. Because if any member is unhealthy, it’s a burden on the society.

What advice would I give a doctor preparing for surgery? First and foremost, walk into the right operating room. After you’ve got the right room, make sure you’ve got the right patient.

I’ve done more than sixty thousand heart operations. I used to start operating at six in the morning. Sometimes I wouldn’t finish until ten or eleven at night. I’ve been fortunate in that I need very little sleep. I can get along well on four or five hours.

Okra is the key to good gumbo.

I’m not sure I can answer that question specifically. But the operation I did in ’53 for aneurysm of the thoracic aorta gave me great satisfaction. It had never been done successfully before, and lots of doctors took the position that you shouldn’t try it. You’ve got to push ahead in spite of them. I learned that lesson early.

I don’t think the difference between ninety-nine and a hundred is important.

I scheduled my last operation when I was ninety. I just felt that I’d done enough and should turn it over to my colleagues.

If you had a heart problem right now and needed an operation and I was the only doctor around, sure, I’d do it.

The best lesson my mother taught me involves an orphanage we had in town. Every Sunday after church we would get in the car and drive to the orphanage. Mother would bake bread and cookies, and she would go through our clothes and give the items we’d outgrown to the children at this orphanage. One Sunday, she was putting clothes in the basket and I noticed she had put one of my favorite caps inside. I immediately protested, but she reminded me that I had a new cap. “The child that’s going to get this cap doesn’t have a parent to give him a new cap,” she said, “and you do.” She told me I ought to be glad that I could give up the cap. I never forgot that.

Being compassionate, being concerned for your fellow man, doing everything you can to help people—that’s the kind of religion I have, and it’s a comforting religion. I don’t get involved in discussions of intelligent design. You can’t answer those questions, so why fool with them?

You can never learn enough.

It’s important for a patient to go into an operation with confidence. The functions of the heart will be abnormal if they go in scared to death.

The worst thing, of course—and you’re never quite prepared for it—is when the patient dies during the operation. You die a little every time that happens.

There was a historian in the fourteenth century who wrote a book about what he knew of the world, and for that time it was pretty good. One of the interesting observations he made is that all the tribes that have difficulty feeding themselves are lean and healthy, and those that have plenty of food are fat, lazy, and unhealthy.

People often use words in a loose way that covers over what they’re talking about. I like to choose words that get to the basics.

The doctor who operated on me only a few years ago was one that I trained. I was lucky to have somebody like that.

Never had a symptom. The pain came like a bullet out of the blue. I was alone when it started. My wife and my daughter had gone out. The pain is often described as the worst pain you can have. The pain was so severe that I would have welcomed anything to relieve it—including death. I wasn’t going to fight it. I look upon death as a part of living, just as some trees lose all their leaves in the winter and have them replaced in the spring. But at the same time, part of me was thinking, What caused this pain? Part of me was doing a diagnosis on myself—which, as it turned out, was correct. Aortic dissection. I’d written more articles about the condition than anybody in the world, and I resigned myself to having a heart stoppage. The pain didn’t teach me anything about the heart. It simply emphasized what I had already learned.

I was a little surprised to find myself recovering after the surgery. Then gratified to have been given a second life.

During my recovery, I played possum. I pretended to be sleeping and listened to what the doctors standing over my bed were saying about my condition. Then I’d argue with them about the therapy. I’d make them prove that I needed it.

I guess it’s hard to be my doctor.

When a problem occurs, sometimes you need to provide the reason. What caused the problem? The thing that I noticed that this isn’t done for the sincerest reasons, it’s just to keep records of your screw ups, to pull it out when needed, even if it wasn’t your screw up at all

Well I propose a new explanation approach. If a problem occurs, document so and so and under reason or cause just put “Shit Happens”, not forgetting to capitalize, it’s neater ;P

See the thing is, sometimes there is no reason at all, it is unexplainable or all the causes won’t apply and if you say unknown, you will raise speculations and that you are trying to hide something but when you say “Shit Happens” no one can deny that. Sometimes the problem can happen several times until you can detect the issue or you need time so until then … “Shit Happens”

Life would be so much easier and I am all for that … so this needs to be included along with “Smile and Wave”

If you are one of those people who know exactly what they want … then give the rest of us some pointers …

I mean are you born with it … or do you pick it up along the way …

A decision you have to make … and it takes a long time to be processed … do you hesitate have second thoughts… or are you darn sure that is what you want …

What if it’s the wrong one … do you stop … do you finish it … start fresh, never too late …

It’s not just about one’s career but overall life …

Do you get scared …?

I don’t think I met one of those people … most second guess themselves … and I’m definitely first inline … or maybe I did but never paid attention

I think I get influenced by people around me or more like motivated … I need to surround myself with such kinds … people who are so ahead of me … so smart … so intimidating … that I think about each word and each action and each decision …

Call me sick … but I like being in a group where they are all smart and way above that they make me feel stupid … well not the dumbest in the group … I have to work extra hard … it’s a challenge … but when you are surrounded with lazy people … you quit trying … and doing less is adequate and actually good …

A smart person who everybody knew they can become anything they want … doctor .. lawyer … business … but they choose to be something else .. something they want … choose paths in life solely based on their beliefs and best judgement … if they make a wrong turn .. so what … life … it’s theirs …

I believe I am doing a good job so far in my life … but I know I can do way better … I just need to be more forward and outgoing … and persistent and have more courage …

A simple person … humble beginnings … daring … courageous … achievements … that is what I need to hear and learn …