In this life we live, we get so caught up whether in our own or into the ones around us. Slowly seeping out, that there will come a time, where we stand before all mighty, our creator, to be judged

What if we have a second chance to do it all over again, would we follow our exact foot steps? Or decide on a different path?

In the end we know we’ll be standing equally, not caring about any other but our own dear self, wishing to save our own skin and doing the now unthinkable but then excusable act of sacrificing our loved ones in order to free our souls

So sad how the circle of individuality is growing, selfishness, the act of what do I want and how to get it and what can others give me and what I can take from them

Seems kindness is diminishing, politeness, tenderness, the simple process of giving without expecting anything in return. Goodwill and overseeing the deficiencies. The act of searching one’s soul, is no longer being practised because if it were, people won’t be happily walking around so giddy as they do

I need to be more kind to my parents, more forgiving

Odd how some people in the weakest lowest moments, find the energy to blame others. Even if it were the case, turn around and face the ONE and imagine just the two of you, how would a humble creature react in the presence of his creator, spiteful, fearful, grateful, thankful, hopeful … would you stand-up with your head held high or your back hunched forward wishing you have done it all differently

I’m not the perfect person and I am not trying to parade as one, I have my moments of harshness and wickedness. But there comes a time at night when I find it hard to sleep and I imagine if it were my time to go, would I have lived my life differently even if for the last year, month, week, day or even hour … but I “أتعوذ من ابليس” then turn around and try to find some peace to rest my eyes but most importantly my soul … my conscience ..

I look at my life and how it changed. if I go back and try to live out each year, how did we survive? I remember the dark long ones, the disappointments, every time I hold my breath waiting for the next blow … and I stop … I remember us four with my dad, playing, fetching coins from water and then flour, having to dip our faces into these bowls to end up with dough spread all over our smiling faces. I remember walking to school and going to the library. My brother sneaking out to buy candy while we cover-up for him. Us turning all the sofas upside down into an imaginary car race track where we all pretend to be cars. We being punished, each placed in a room alone to think about what we have done until our father returns. My mother spending the time to sew both my sister and I some clothes, we would have matching outfits or different designs of the same fabric. The fun we had, the mischief we got ourselves into. My sister and I coming up with games and things to do to spend our time. The way we went crazy over sales, we would buy a whole bunch of stuff for 5 KD!!

The more sooner sweet memories, the sleepless night I spent thinking that day my sister was about to go down the marriage road. The time we spent shopping for her. The way she came down the stairs. The time I danced and danced all night long. My big brother, him and I chatting for hours through messenger and the day he got married and I thought I had a sweet lovely older brother who is looking fine in his ‘bisht’ the way he was loudly asking me for tissues because he was sweating in the heated room next to his bride, we share this, both of us can’t tolerate heat, we turn into this awful sweating machines

The beauty of life is the unpredictably of it, it’s funny how things turn out to be, never quite how you plan them or how you picture them to turn out. But miraculously you adjust. Allah has his own way of taking care of things. We just have to accept and that’s a consuming task by itself

People need to look at themselves and see what they got, what we tend to do is look at others and compare and envy what they have, where as in comparison you have more, but one seems blind to his own possessions

Those sleepless night I have, that keeps endless thoughts circling around my tired but awaken and refusing to shut down brain