Change, do we all change into the individuals we want or aspire to be? Are we aware of these changes and most importantly can we control the changes?
I take a look at myself across the years and see how I evolved and the circumstances that help shape the person I am today
One thing for sure, I have this person lurking inside of me, that’s always there I think and it’s not a nice one. It’s nasty, mean, awful, inconsiderate and selfish. I try to keep it at bay
Everytime, I want to scream, pull someone’s hair, kick their ass, shout or simply give them the finger … I bury it inside and keep going 
At work, all I see is nastiness … all around me and wonder do they actually like waking up in the morning and coming here for what? schemes and plots!! Is it worth it?
And I find myself being pulled into their game, into this whirlwind against my will and all I can do is stand quiet. I don’t know what to say or do
Change… I’m beginning to question my values and beliefs, that is the earthly ones. Is it wise to always do the right thing and tell the truth? Is it worth it to still follow the straight path, it’s so hard and letting go is so easy
I find myself, starting to do exactly the same behaviour I used to criticize? How can I appall an action I just did!! double standards … and ofcourse this nasty conscious of mine kicks in, tormenting me!
I believe this is where my nightmares come from, all the ugliness that is out there and I encounter finds a sweet spot with the little devil within me and comes pouring out of my unconscious mind at night because it’s the only time it can get out!! While I’m helpless and with no power to stop it
What do people do, if some place or someone is changing them into people they don’t like to be?
The never ending battle between good and evil
Thoughts racing through my tired hungry mind and body, I need to sleep
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