My niece does not like me! I want to cry

I went to visit them at home … my brother handed her to me and I was excited … I’ve only seen her through glass windows and mobile pictures … I carried her twice and she cried both times -I’m tearing up-

wAllah she made me think something is wrong with me, like I’m possessed, do babies sense these things! I felt I had demons surrounding me and that scared her

I was going to cry … why doesn’t she like me … once someone else takes her, she quietens up!!

All my dreams of being the most favourite aunt in the whole wide world shattered into tiny pieces along with her screams and tears

I hate crying and people seeing me doing that, but I was going to break into tears … I just looked at my brother and said .. she’s about to cry .. she’s crying .. Oh GOD … what happened … why doesn’t she like .. boohooing my eyes out

Why did I think she’ll love me on the spot … that she’ll sense me … ohhhh, I’m sad …

I’ll let it cool off a couple of days and then try again, until then I’ll be shedding some tears, why am I being so GOD damn sensitive … is this what they call maternity feelings … argh … I just wanted her to smile and laugh for me …

I’m a sad auntie … maybe whatever magic you need to be around kids I don’t have it .. I spent it all on my brothers .. shit …

This auntie is sad … this auntie is listening to all Whitney’s bodyguard movie songs and tearing up … this auntie is going to sleep now because she needs to be early at work tomorrow …

why oh why ….

previously favourite aunt in the WWW wannabe