If you ask me now, if I see myself in IT forever, I can’t say YES!!

Maybe in a different place a different speciality, but for now, I just feel completely lost!

I list my potential future job prospects, yes one needs to provide for oneself, I have my chef possibility ;P and recently added skier, like snowboarding or sandboarding, though I think I’ll faint half way from the heat.

I remember the today’s silly requests from our dear users that tick me completely off, one wants us to unlock PDF documents so he can print them out! Even with legal hanging over our heads and another doesn’t want to install Microsoft updates, so I say, “of course we’ll call Microsoft themselves and request that they stop pushing out their updates to the rest of the world!!!! so you sir, can avoid the hassle of installing and restarting your PC.”

I can’t deny that what I do, affects my mood completely, I just get out of there drained to the last bit! I think about happiness and imagine, what I need to be doing to achieve just that!

Is something wrong with me??? Is it my job ??? The people I deal with ??? Do I need to change ??? Do I need to change path!

I’m good at what I do. But am I doing it wrong?

Even if I come in and leave on time, it’s what happens during these hours that gets stuck! It’s not easy being NOT affected!

I’m loosing my memory, I can’t remember a thing and of course my eye sight! pathetic! 6ab3an I have NO time to go do checkups, because I leave work and I’m so out of energy that I just drive 80km/hr to reach home, too tired to push the gas peddle! I wanted to go relax in Avenues today, sip some coffee or have a bite! couldn’t do that.

People tell me to relax and take it easy, it’s not the job, I enjoy IT, it’s the people I don’t like dealing with. I take it all in. It’s hard for me to know something and not do anything about it! I hate it when I see my colleagues stab each other in the back, even if I’m out of it, it affects me. WTF, is wrong with human nature!

I think everyone is born with a tolerance capacity, I believe I’ve overflow mine because I’ve been doing that since childhood that now I’m this tic toc human bomb!

In a meeting today, I actually imagined going over to a guy, grabbing him by the collar and throwing him out of the window! Then thought, do these window open? hmmm, can I break them with a chair. hold it hold it, stay girl stay ;P

If you see me, you can’t imagine I carry all this inside me, I smile, laugh and nod.

Maybe I need a break from it all, but we have several projects going on that I need to be there and then maybe, but I need to go to somewhere and not stay home and it has to be technology-free zone. Believe me, do all IT people do that, as soon as I go in somewhere, I notice their setup, where is the computer room here, aha the cabling, APs hmmm, telephony system, yes IP, Cisco also, and on and on I freaking GO!!!

Maybe I’m too concentrated on my job, I’m too  lazy to go find something to do after work, like maybe volunteering some place. Do we have such a thing here ??? So if someone has a non-IT related job for me after my working hours, I’ll even do it for free ;D

I know what I need to do, is LET GO, but it’s hard, how can one do that! I can’t just switch my input system off when I go into work and switch right back on as soon as I get out.

If we were allowed to drink, I’d be one drunken chick all the time hehehehehe! Isn’t that how they forget ;P

Tomorrow some innocence will be shed upon me, I’m baby sitting my niece, that makes me happy. So the day after tomorrow definitely I’ll be doing something different to my day, other than home-work-home scenario on each and every weekday!