Sad dark thoughts circling my mind

Even though they’re empty, still I feel exhausted inside!

Trying to pass my day

Sitting around as time passes away …

All by myself, hot tea in hand

Merging my thoughts so I can understand

Then the fact that I can’t deny

It’s clear, as a bright blue sky

If I only knew what’s on the other side

Maybe I wouldn’t be so scared to decide

To simply close my eyes …

I’m ready to cross over … come … before I change my mind

Change my mind ???

Not because I have better hopes for my existence

No, I have done enough resistance

I give up … I surrender …

I’m just afraid of the end … the after life

Is it heaven or hell ???

Am I doing well ???

Or is it no matter what I do

Everything I seem to screw

If that’s the case, then there’s no point to all my doings …

From this moment, all the way back to my beginnings …

I’m just trying to figure out what’s the difference

Trying to understand all life’s nonesense …