Sad dark thoughts circling my mind
Even though they’re empty, still I feel exhausted inside!
Trying to pass my day
Sitting around as time passes away …
All by myself, hot tea in hand
Merging my thoughts so I can understand
Then the fact that I can’t deny
It’s clear, as a bright blue sky
If I only knew what’s on the other side
Maybe I wouldn’t be so scared to decide
To simply close my eyes …
I’m ready to cross over … come … before I change my mind
Change my mind ???
Not because I have better hopes for my existence
No, I have done enough resistance
I give up … I surrender …
I’m just afraid of the end … the after life
Is it heaven or hell ???
Am I doing well ???
Or is it no matter what I do
Everything I seem to screw
If that’s the case, then there’s no point to all my doings …
From this moment, all the way back to my beginnings …
I’m just trying to figure out what’s the difference
Trying to understand all life’s nonesense …
#1 by Nosayba on May 15, 2009 - 12:34 AM
It’s true, the more you prepare yourself for something the less anxious and scared about it you become. I’m not sure though if we can ever know what’s on the other side or think we’re prepared enough for it.. In fact, sometimes “worrying” is positive.
#2 by fa6fooo6 on May 15, 2009 - 4:48 PM
ya kalba, don’t think like that!!
you are NOT dying & leaving me hear ALONE!!!
life is shity & people are shitier
BUT, what gives me hope and makes me take a step forward is that we always have each other and we have zayooni
the problem is that I always call you and let it out, that makes me feel a little better.. you on the other hand store it all inside & that will drive you crazy!
So, no die thoughts or something near that
wait for me, let’s die together or when I die, you can die the day after
#3 by Bloggylife on May 16, 2009 - 9:36 PM
Nosayba, worrying is what gets you to prepare, but if you don’t have a deadline that’s the problem…
fa6fooo6, I know I’ll always have you :* Someday maybe I’ll pull over to your house, and call you up, hop in I’ve found a perfect far away place for us, you, zayoon and me, and just go away and leave everything behind … and I think I’m starting to let it all out awal eb awal ;*
#4 by Haider on May 22, 2009 - 12:40 PM
I’m gonna have to agree with fa6foo6′s first line
I personally don’t like entertaining dark thoughts in my mind. They sometimes make an entrance, but they’re never welcome.
What I find especially troublesome about “after-life thinking” is that God doesn’t seem to make an appearance. By this I mean we worry about whether we will enter heaven or hell, but don’t stop to think that God is merciful, He won’t burden us with more than we can handle and – most importantly – He wants what’s best for us and for us to be HAPPY.
Sure there are sh*tty situations and sh*tty people, but that doesn’t mean that life has to be sh*tty and that we can’t experience happiness on earth.
#5 by Bloggylife on May 23, 2009 - 11:53 PM
yeah she’s a bit frank and brutal .. to the point ;P
I guess it’s an eternal self struggle, but you got a point, GOD doesn’t seem to make an appearance, it’s always about where am I going to most I guess